Sakura's Life With The Akatsuki!
by Girl-With-The-Tinfoil-Teeth
Summary: What will happen when the 5th Hokage's ex-apprentice is living with the 'ever-so-dangerous' Akatsuki? Explosions, headaches, and a hell load of trouble! REWRITTEN! CHAPTER 5 IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

Sakura's life with the Akatsuki 

Chapter one.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Naruto if I did Sakura would have been in the Akatsuki to begin with.

**A/N: This has been rewritten **

**Talking: **'BLAH'

**Thoughts:'**_blah'_

It was just another ordinary day in the life of a girl called Haruno Sakura. She had glassy emerald eyes, long pink, shiny hair that went to her waist and a body anyone would die for.

The said girl was happily skipping to the living room, her hair swaying behind her as she did. Sakura turned her head to where she heard two male voices and while she was distracted, she fell face flat onto the floor.

"Itai!!" She moaned in pain and rubbed her nose. She looked back to see what had tripped her, only to find Deidara sleeping soundly on the floor. The kuniochi's eyebrow twitched and a vein throbbed on her **NORMAL** sized forehead.

Silently, she crawled over to the sleeping blonde, and put her mouth near his ear and screamed.

"GET UP! BLONDIE!!" Deidara shot up, startled and rubbed his now aching ear. Groggily, he looked about, wanting to know who screamed in his ear. He jumped back when he came face to face with an angry pink haired kuniochi.

"What THE hell do you think you were doing, sleeping on the floor? ANYONE could have tripped over you, like** I **did!" Sakura hissed, her eyes glared down at the frightened blonde.

Deidara was scared, and couldn't form a legible sentence.

"I-I…" Was all he managed to choke out.

**-X-X-X-**

Itachi, Kisame, Pein and Konan were all sat around the kitchen table, playing poker. So far, Itachi was winning and Konan insists that he is cheating.

"He **IS** cheating!! He's using the Sharingan! The last time we played, which was yesterday, he **SUCKED ASS** at poker! Now he's FUCKING winning!!" The blue haired woman yelled, throwing a mixture of curses into her rant.

Just as Konan was about to continue her rant, the kitchen door was knocked clean off It's hinges. Deidara came running in, screaming bloody murder and hid behind Itachi.

"Save meeee!" He yelped, still clinging onto the Sharingan users' cloak.

"WHERE IS HE!?" Sakura yelled, totally pissed. She stomped into the kitchen, her eyes narrowed dangerously and her face was flushed from anger.

"Come OUT Deidara!" She hissed, her deadly eyes scanning the room.

Itachi rolled his eyes, as the blonde clung to his cloak and whimpered almost silently. Itachi grabbed hold of the blonde and threw him in front of him, and near to the angered cherry blossom.

Sakura grinned evilly and grabbed his legs and dragged him out of the room. The blonde was about to receive his punishment for tripping her.

**-X-X-X-**

Pein watched mildly amused at the blondes whimpering and pleading for help. All of the Akatsuki new about the pink-haired kuniochi's temper. Although, many were smart enough not to piss her off.

"I wonder what he did to get her **THAT** mad" Itachi commented, almost silently. Konan, Pein and Kisame all nodded their heads at his statement. By this time, the poker game had been forgotten and all were interested in what Sakura was going to do to Deidara.

**-X-X-X-**

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP! HELP! HE-" Deidara's cries were cut short, as Sakura threw her giant axe at him. He ducked and rolled out of the just in time, as the axe struck the ground where he once was. Sakura grabbed the handle and pulled it free with ease.

"Stop being such a baby, Deidara! And take it like the man we think you are!" Sakura said, walking closer to Deidara, as he scurried away from her.

**This be the end of chapter one! And please review and tell me what YOU think Sakura should do for a punishment! **


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura's Life In The Akatsuki

Chapter Two 

**Parings: DEISAKU **

**Author: xTomomi-Itachi's-Stalkerx ((I CHANGED MY PENNAME!)) **

**Rated: T **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own naruto.

Talking "blah"

Thinking '_blah'_

Stressing words '**Blah'**

Song lyrics '_**Blah'**_

Flash backs

Thank you to; 

X-X-X

XxMiyakaxX

auraclaritykat, and

wateveruwannacallme.

For all the cool suggestions :D

**X-X-X**

Sakura inched closer to the blonde, her face holding a crazed look. Deidara paled almost instantly, at the look on her face. She came closer and closer, until his back was pressed against the wall and she was hovering over him.

"D-don't d-d-do it! P-please!" Deidara stuttered, closing his eyes and batting his arms about in front of him. Sakura only grinned as the side of her hand came into contact with the side of his neck, effectively knocking him out.

Sakura picked up his unconscious body, and threw it over her shoulder and grinned.

"Pay backs a bitch" She said aloud, her tone holding amusement. A moment later she called for Konan, to help her with her revenge plan. The blue eyed woman laughed, she couldn't wait to see Deidara's reaction when he woke up. Sakura was known to be a genius when it came to getting revenge and pulling pranks.

**X-X-X**

While the two kuniochi plotted against the unfortunate bomb expert, Pein, Kisame and Itachi were sat in the living room. Itachi was reading a book called 'How to kill for dummies'. Pein and Kisame however, were watching the Jeremy Kyle talk show.

"Hey Pein, I bet you that Deidara will be able to escape his 'punishment'." The blue shark-like man said, turning to his orange haired friend.

Pein smirked, and turned his hypnotic eyes towards the land-shark. "You're on! So what are you going to bet?"

"I bet all of my sake, for your girlfriend, Konan" Kisame said, with a smirk. Pein smirked back, although he did not want to see Konan's face if she was to **EVER** find out that he bet her for sake. Kisame and Pein shook hands, the both of them thinking the same thing.

'_Sucker'_

Itachi just rolled his red eyes at the idiotic pair, and went back to reading his book. Well what we thought was a book; inside the book was a magazine. Not just any magazine but a PORN magazine. Yes, even THE Uchiha Itachi has hormones.

**X-X-X**

Konan grinned; she had finally set up everything Sakura would require for her revenge! The still unconscious explosive expert was in a red dress that had slits up the side and the Haruno marking on, and he had pair of black under shorts on underneath. His bed had been glued to the wall, with thanks to a product called 'no more nails'. The blonde himself had been strapped to his bed, with duct tape put over his mouth.

Konan herself, liked the idea, but wanted to give him a huge wedgie and hang him from a tree by his boxers. But this was not her time to interfere, maybe in the future; she'd get to do it. She laughed evilly at the thought.

"Hey Konan! It's time to do his hair and make-up!" The pink-haired kuniochi sang, and happily skipped over to Deidara. She put bright red lipstick on his full pale pink lips, and added blue mascara and eye shadow for his eyes. Sakura soon removed the hair tie keeping the golden locks up, and continued to play with his hair. After around twenty minutes, she was done. His hair was now curled to perfection and with help from her hairspray; his hair would be like that for the next week!

Both kuniochi's heads turned to the blonde that was slowly waking up.

Deidara blinked his eyes slowly, waiting for them to adjust to the light. He tried to yawn and stretch, only to realise his mouth had duct tape over it! And he had also been strapped to the bed with duct tape!

'_Wha! What the hell, un!?" _He thought. Deidara's head shot up, when he heard the laughter of two women. His eyes narrowed.

"Mpha! bagfa!" Was all that Deidara could utter out, due to the tape that had been stuck over his mouth.

Sakura and Konan erupted into a fit of laughter, Sakura was finding it hard to breathe. However, Konan had already turned blue and was crying tears of amusement. Deidara glared at them again.

**X-X-X**

Pein grinned at his blue-skinned companion. "I win, Kisame" He made a gesture with his hand towards Kisame. The blue man sighed unhappily, and gave Pein all the bottles of sake he had and trudged off to his room. But what he didn't know was that an angry Uchiha had set a prank up on him. As soon as he opened his door, the one song he never EVER wanted to hear started to play. Im Blue, By Eiffel 65.

_**Yo listen up here's a story  
About a little guy that lives in a blue world  
And all day and all night and everything he sees  
Is just blue like him inside and outside  
Blue his house with a blue little window  
And a blue corvette  
And everything is blue for him and his self  
And everybody around  
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen..**_

Kisame tried to turn off the CD player, but it was no use, after about an hour of trying he gave up, and tried to get to sleep.

_**I'm blue, da ba de da ba die.(x7)(x2) **_

I have a blue house with a blue window  
Blue is the color of all that I wear  
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too  
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue  
Blue are the people here that walk around _**Instant Song Lyrics**__**  
Blue like my corvette, it's standing outside  
Blue are the words I say and what I think  
Blue are the feelings that live inside me**_

**X-X-X**

xD that's the end of this chapter! Next chapter will have Deidara's reaction in it, and the reason why Itachi tortured Kisame with his most hated song :D

Please

Review


	3. Chapter 3

Sakura's life in the Akatsuki 

Chapter three!

**Parings: DEISAKU **

**Author: xTomomi-Itachi's-Stalkerx **

**Rated: T **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own naruto.

Talking "blah"

Thinking '_blah'_

Stressing words '**Blah'**

Song lyrics '_**Blah'**_

Flash backs

Thank you to; 

Everyone that reviewed

**X-X-X**

"Hahaha...ha.." Both kuniochi giggled, totally aware of the glare Deidara was sending to them. Sakura was the one that got her composure back first and Konan followed, but still giggled here and there.

"Mmghgh! Bifych!" Deidara tried to shout, but it was muffled by the tape around his mouth. He glared at the two girls in front of him, giving them a 'let-me-go-now-or-**ELSE**' look. Neither Sakura or Konan were affected by his glare, it would just make his reaction funnier.

"Dun dun duuuuuun! It is time to reveal Deidara's transformation and it's all thanks to Sakura and Konan's makeovers from….**HELL**!" Konan said, commentating on hers and her best friends' earlier actions.

"Sakura and Konan are not responsible for any traumatizing images you may see.  
If you were affected by today's episode, please call the their-rapist on this number!" The pink kuniochi said, giggling at the blonds scared expression.

**0800 213 669**

"Calls cost Five dollars a minute or higher if you are on different networks." Konan finished Sakura's earlier sentence.

**X-X-X**

Itachi smirked and leaned further into his chair, he watched Kisame try and block the music out with his pillow. Itachi had fitted a video camera into Kisame's room, and played the blue-guys most hated song. The Uchiha was most amused when Kisame tried to turn the CD player off, he tried everything, except for pulling out the plug and pressing the 'Off' button.

"That's what you get, for putting playgirl magazine in my room" Itachi spoke aloud. Hidan was the one to find it and within the next five seconds, all of the Akatsuki knew, and even people that were not part of the Akatsuki knew. Now everyone has been questioning his sexuality, or calling him the 'gay Uchiha'. And Uchiha Itachi is certainly not gay! Although…everyone begged to differ.

Uh oh! Watch out Hidan! He was next on the Uchiha's list!

**X-X-X**

Sakura grinned at Deidara, as Konan wheeled something into the room, it had red curtain thrown on top of it. The two kuniochi started to whisper between each other, and would giggle ever now and then, and Deidara watched, wondering what they were planning.

Sakura turned back to him and smirked. "Lets see if you can call yourself a man now, Deidara!" And with that, Konan pulled the red fabric from the object, revealing a mirror.

**Silence **

**More silence **

**A horrified scream **

"What have you **DONE TO ME!? **I-I don't **WANT** to look like a Barbie! Or a slut! You **RUINED** my **HAIR**…my beautiful hair…" Deidara trailed off, his blue eyes showed obvious disgust and humiliation.

And he thought it couldn't get anymore humiliating, but he was dead wrong.

_**Cruised into a bar on the shore  
Her picture graced the grime on the door  
She a long lost love at first bite  
Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's alright  
That's right**_

_**Backstage we're having the time  
of our lives until somebody say  
Forgive me if I seem out of line  
Then she whipped out of her gun  
tried to blow me away**_

Dude look like a lady (4x)

Deidara's eyes widened in pure horror. It, it was THE song! The one that ruined his life back in Iwa, and it just ruined his life and reputation in the Akatsuki! He would never live this moment down!** EVER**!

_**So never judge a book by its cover  
Or who you gonna love by your lover  
Love put me wise to her love in disguise  
She had the body of Venus  
Lord imagine my surprise**_

Dude look like a lady (4x)

The blonde hung his head low, the humiliation was too much! And the two kuniochi that were laughing there arses off did not help...**AT ALL**. His pride is no virtually nonexistent, and his ego badly bruised.

_**Baby let me follow you down  
Let me take peek dear  
Baby let me follow you down  
Do me, do me, do me all night  
Baby let me follow you down  
Turn the other cheek dear  
Baby let me follow you down  
Do me, do me, do me, sue me**_****

Pein entered the room, wanting to see how Sakura got revenge on Deidara.

**Step **

**Step**

**Pause **

The orange haired mans bright eyes widened, he stopped abruptly as he gazed at the guy that looked even MORE feminine that ever.

_**What a funky lady  
She like it like it like it like that  
He was a lady**_

**5**

**4**

**3**

**2**

**1**

"Hahahaha!" The Akatsuki leader keeled over with laughter, he would occasionally choke on his laughter or snort, causing Sakura and Konan to laugh harder than before. The sound of their laughter was ringing in the Blonde's ears, as he continued to be laughed at.

After the laughter had subsided, Konan and Sakura thought was time to tell Deidara more about the revenge.

"So…Just so you know Deidara, the hair will stay like that for the next week." Sakura started.

"And so will the make-up and the zip on the dress you are wearing has been melted. So…you are stuck in that too…unless you can somehow get it off…" Konan finished for Sakura.

Deidara said nothing, but it **WAS** official…this was the worst day of his life.

**X-X-X**

Hidan was sat on his bed; he couldn't shake the feeling off. He felt like someone was plotting against him. But if someone was, who was it?

**X-X-X**

Dada! That's the end of this chapter! So how was it?

And please review with YOUR ideas on how Itachi can get his revenge! And you'll get a cookie XD


	4. Chapter 5

Sakura's life in the Akatsuki

Sakura's life in the Akatsuki 

Chapter Four!

**Parings: DEISAKU **

**Author: xTomomi-Itachi's-Stalkerx **

**Rated: T **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own naruto.

Talking "blah"

Thinking '_blah'_

Stressing words '**Blah'**

Song lyrics '_**Blah'**_

Flash backs

Thank you to; 

Everyone that reviewed and for those that sent in their suggestions! THANK YOU! This will no longer be discontinued!

**X-X-X**

The Jashin worshiper woke up with a start, he still had that bad feeling, but the feeling was much worse. He looked around his room, his eyes widened. "What the FUCK?!" He looked about franticly, for his scythe. It was nowhere in site, which meant someone had taken it! But who? No one dared to go in his room, fearing what they might see.

He rolled out of his bed with a loud thump. He got back up and threw his clothes on. "Where the fuck is it, who took my fucking scythe!? The bastards gonna regret it!"

**X-X-X**

Sakura rolled out of her bed groggily, landing with a loud thud. She groaned and rubbed her pink-haired head and stood from the ground. She turned her sleepy, green eyes to her side and looked at her alarm clock.

"Six thirty...in the morning…" She said through a yawn. She narrowed her sleepy eyes, when she didn't get enough sleep, she'd get grumpy, and when she'd get grumpy she'd get upset and when she got upset…**PEOPLE DIE!**

"Im going to castrate whoever it was who woke me up!" She hissed through her clenched teeth. She hastily got dressed and ran a brush through her soft, long, pink hair before hurrying out of her room to find the poor, unfortunate guy that woke her up. He was in for a world of hurt.

**X-X-X**

Itachi sat in his room, knowing all to well what was going to happen. Sakura is an extremely light sleeper and hated to be disturbed. It was a well known fact that Sakura would pound anyone that woke her up into the ground and they'd most likely be an inch from death.

So, he knew that by stealing Hidan's scythe, the Jashinist would cuss and yell at the top of his voice, thus waking the light-sleeping kuniochi. She then would go into a blind rage, tracking down the one that awoke her and proceed to knock them into next week by using her chakra powered fists.

He sat back in his chair, waiting, for the chain reaction had already started.

Yep. Life was good for him right now.

**X-X-X**

"Come out come out wherever you are, I won't hurt you **much!**" The annoyed pink-haired woman said, in a honey coated voice. She slowly and stealthily walked down the corridor, to where the yelling got louder. She realised who it was, and her green-glassy eyes narrowed, turning into dark slits.

"**Hidan!!**" She yelled, stomping madly into the living room, where the Jashinist was.

"What the fuck do you want, bitch?!" He yelled back, giving her a dirty look.

Oooooh, way to go Hidan!!

"What did you just call me? You **Freak**!" She hissed angrily and threw the TV remote at the violet-eyed male. Hitting smack bam in the face with it, making him stumble backwards from the force.

"Ow, you stupid, pink-hared bitch! That hurt, Jashin-Sama will smite you for that!!" Hidan yelled back, throwing curses into his sentence.

That was it: He was in for it now.

Run, Hidan. **RUN!!**

Sakura narrowed her emerald eyes further and let out a loud battle cry before charging at the horrified Jashinist. She knocked him over, his back meeting with the solid ground, as her fist connected with his face, effectively breaking his nose.

"Watch your tongue around me, Church-guy!! Don't **EVER** talk to me in that way again" She yelled, in a blind rage as she once again slammed her fist into his face and continued to beat him.

When she had finished beating him an inch form death, she grabbed hold of his ankle and dragged him around the base, knocking his head off of anything that was on the ground. She stopped out side a door and knocked twice.

"Who is it?" The dark voice asked.

"It's me, Sakura" She responded and tapped her foot lightly on the ground.

"…Come in."

Sakura grinned and opened the dark-red door and closed it after herself and turned to the one she came for.

"Ahh, Itachi!" She grinned. "Im getting revenge on this little twerp for waking me, and I need you to put the icing on the cake for me!" Her eyes glinted with malice and she gestured to Hidan, which looked up at her fearfully.

"What is it that you want me to do, Sakura?" Itachi asked, inwardly grinning at how well his plan was going.

"Well, I was hoping you'd use Tsukuyomi on him, and in turn for that, I'll heal your eyes. I know your secret Itachi." She spoke, and lifted the Jashinist over her should and took note of the slight shock in Itachi's eyes.

"Very well…tie him up." Was all the weasel had said.

The pinkette nodded and tied Hidan to a chair and let Itachi do as he said he would. Hidan was instantly pulled into the world of Tsukuyomi that Itachi could control the time of which he was tortured for. Itachi stood before the silver-haired male, black clouds flowed around the crimson-red sky, as the torture began.

Images began to drift into the Jashin worshiper's mind, the worst and the ones he feared the most. Jashin-Sama detesting him, taking away his immortality and making him human. No longer a cherished one of his lord. In reality, it was, it was on one second that had passed, but in the world of Tsukuyomi, seventy-two hours had passed.

When Itachi broke the genjutsu, Hidan was still conscious, but looked terrified and screamed when he looked into Sakura's eyes. "THE DEVILS SPAWN!!" He yelled, pointing at her before sluggishly getting up and running out of the room.

As promised, Sakura started to heal the Sharingan-wielders eyes.

**X-X-X**

Meanwhile, Konan and Pein were sat on the leather sofa, making out. Hands tangled in each others hair, lips pressed tightly together in a passion filled kiss. They were both getting into it, just as the horrified 'Church-Guy' ran into the room and screamed. Making the couple jump apart in shock and tidy their appearances.

They both looked at the guy weirdly, as he lay on the floor, his knees tucked up to his chest, with his arms around them. He muttered the same thing over and over. "Think of happy place, think of happy place, Jashin-Sama doesn't hate me…"

"What the hell?" The blue-haired woman spoke, looking over at her boyfriend.

"I don't think I want to know," he said.

The two sighed and sat down again and resumed what they were doing prior to being rudely disturbed. Hidan still lay on the floor, muttering the same things over and over, while gently rocking himself backwards and forwards. The couple didn't know what happened, nor did they want to find out so they just left him like it.

**X-X-X**

Later that day, Sakura was sat on the loveseat in her room, watching TV, when she heard a knock on her door. She stood from her seat and walked casually to the door and opened it, "Oh, hey Deidara," She said.

The said blonde smiled and waved, blushing slightly. " S-sakura, would you go out with me?" He asked shyly.

The pinkette stood there, shocked. What was she going to say to him?

**X-X-X**

And that's the end of this chapter!! XD what will happen? No one knows…not even myself, as of yet! xD


	5. chap

Sakura's life in the Akatsuki

Sakura's life in the Akatsuki

Chapter five!!

**Parings: DEISAKU **

**Author: xTomomi-Itachi's-Stalkerx **

**Rated: T **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

Talking "blah"

Thinking '_blah'_

Stressing words '**Blah'**

Song lyrics '_**Blah'**_

Flash backs

Thank you to; 

Everyone that reviewed

**X-X-X**

Sakura stood frozen to where she was stood, she tried, really tried to get herself to talk, but failing. Her voice failed her, when she needed, she inwardly cursed. She once again summoned her iron will to help her force her voice out, but to no avail…her mouth only opening and closed, no words flowing passed her lips.

Yes, she had realised she most likely looked like a gaping fish, but she couldn't help it. Her green eyes bore right into those greyblue eyes she had seen so many times before; he looked so nervous, even more so by the way she was acting. So, she did the thing that anyone else would have done, in her position. Slammed the door in his face. The kuniochi stared at the door, in a daze, releasing a breath she didn't notice she was holding in.

**X-X-X**

Deidara sighed, turning away from the kuniochi's door dejectedly, hanging his head low in defeat. Long blonde hair shadowing his disappointed face, as he walked down the corridor, his steps loud and heavy, he didn't spare a glance at anyone that walked by, not even Sasori.

Sighing to himself, he laid on the sofa in the living room, watching whatever was on the television at the time. Nothing worked, Sakura still filled his mind, every about filled his head with images. Her hair, her smile, her smooth, silk-like skin and her feisty temper. He cursed himself, feeling warm tears prickle at the corners of his greyblue eyes, hastily wiping them away.

**X-X-X**

**Gahhhhh!! im sorry for the shortness…I have writers block…**


End file.
